Onbereikbaar

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In m'n droom wilde ik hem opbellen, want ik realiseerde me dat ik hem al langer dan een paar dagen niet had gezien, wat eigenlijk gek is omdat ik nu vlakbij woon. Het drong niet tot me door dat hij zestien jaar geleden is overleden. Ik werd erg ongerust maar slaagde er niet in hem aan de lijn te krijgen, sterker nog, ik kon z'n nummer niet eens vinden in mijn mobieltje... in de adressenlijst tikte ik J, O, H,... maar zijn naam leek er niet in te staan. Ik pakte toen een schoen van 'm, een zwarte bolle schoen zo groot als m'n bovenbeen en hield die tegen m'n oor alsof ik 'm zo zou kunnen horen, zoals je een zeeschelp tegen je oor kunt houden om de zee te horen ruisen. M'n kind lag, een grote baby nog, in een wieg bij me, zag me met die grote zwarte schoen aan m'n oor en schrok, krijste het uit.

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